A discussion on Reddit highlights a significant idea: it is not appropriate for others to persuade parents of single children to have additional kids, as it is not their concern.
When you become a parent for the first time, you quickly learn that people have strong opinions about almost everything you do when it comes to raising your child. From decisions about breastfeeding, returning to work, and sleep training, all of these choices are met with scrutiny and comments from others. Additionally, a Reddit user highlights that people often feel entitled to offer unsolicited advice or try to persuade parents to change their minds about how many children they have, which is completely inappropriate.
A mother has initiated a discussion on Reddit regarding an issue she has faced. She believes that if someone expresses their reasons for not having more children, others should not attempt to change their decision. She compares having a child to purchasing a phone or a dress, emphasizing that it is not something people should be urged to acquire more of.
The writer correctly points out that society has a tendency to question every decision made by parents. In this case, the mother is not only being questioned about having only one child, but people are also trying to convince her to have more children. The mother notes that people base their arguments on assumptions, such as assuming she had a difficult pregnancy and has chosen not to go through the experience again. They also pull out arguments like saying her child will be lonely. Despite the fact that the mom is content with having one child, others continue to argue about the advantages of having more children.
The mother shares that some people use an absurd argument against her decision to not have more children. They say, “What if she dies? Then what? You’ll have no children left.” She clarifies that she is not royalty and doesn’t need an heir and a spare. If something happened to her child, she wouldn’t want to live anymore. Others argue that having another child would give her something to live for. The mother advises that people should accept when someone says they don’t want more kids and move on. It doesn’t affect their lives whether the person has more children or not.
The original poster’s viewpoint is echoed by other Reddit users. One user shares their experience of being told that they can’t have just one child, to which they respond by saying they can and will. Another user relates to the original poster’s argument about the possibility of death during childbirth and recounts their own experience of a doctor making a cruel remark about permanent birth control during their postpartum visit. Hearing such a thing during the newborn stage was terrible, according to the commenter.
It is astonishing that someone, especially a professional, would utter such words to a parent, particularly during the postpartum stage when both the parent and baby are extremely delicate and susceptible.
Other users in the discussion are also noticing that individuals who have only one child are not the sole targets of criticism and scrutiny regarding the size of their family. One user shares that they have six children and receive a range of comments, from accusations of contributing to environmental destruction to praise for being a great mother and having happy kids. They express confusion about why people are so focused on others’ lives and humorously suggest that they are not sure at which point the criticism stops, but they personally have decided to undergo sterilization by choice.
The lesson to be learned is to allow other parents to live their lives. It is difficult to know what circumstances are influencing their decisions, such as financial struggles, difficulty conceiving, past risky pregnancies, problems in their marriage, or unexpected pregnancies. All of these factors can impact the number of children a person has. Ultimately, it may simply come down to personal choice. It is important to recognize that deciding to have no children, one child, or several children are all valid choices. Therefore, let us respect and accept these choices.
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